Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Mixed reactions...

I once described myself to a friend as antisocial.   (This friend also happens to be into psychology, which is a topic I find interesting myself )  And she told me "you're not antisocial, you're just picky!".  I really hadn't thought of it that way before.  I always thought that it was because I just really enjoy being alone.  I am very introspective and introverted and I seem to get more so as I get older.  I'm just plain shy really.

This for me was the single biggest hurdle when I decided to put my jewelry out into the world hoping that someone would like it as much as I did.  Not so much the online interactions.  Online I think my shyness is still a factor, but I'm not really bothered by judgement from my "peers" unless I really respect them.

I live in the suburbs between two major cities in Texas.  Two towns over is the town named last year as America's most affluent neighborhood.  I would say the majority of the people living in my neighborhood are college graduates working in professional fields.  Lots of stay at home moms.  Some career women.

Now, I'm not trying to tell you I'm living high on the hog.  Because we aren't.  My husband is in the Auto industry and has two vehicles both of which are over 10 years old.  I drive a Honda.  The majority of our furniture has been handed down.  I'm not really into home decorating that much.  90% of my wardrobe is cotton tops and capris. We have a nice house, and that allows our kids to go to the best schools in the area.  We live within our means, and my husband is great with our finances.  Neither of us are college graduates.

All this background is so you'll understand my feeling on mixed reactions I receive from people who know me in the real world.  I find it fascinating, and wonder if others who try to turn their art into a business get the same reactions.  I'm sure they do....

Anyway.. We had a birthday party for both of our daughter's recently.  A mother of one of my little one's friends, who I know to be a career woman, is making small talk with me.  In a tone I perceive to be slightly condescending she says to me, " So, what do you do?  You make jewelry?"  Kinda like, seriously?  You make jewelry?  I'm not good at self promotion.  At all.  I just smile and tell her yes.  Later on I overhear a conversation she is having with another mom about the great day care her kids are in, and later again, how nice the ipad is because she could just plug her kid into it so she and her husband "could actually have an adult conversation" over dinner.

My husband and I believe strongly that my being at home with the kids is the most important  job I could have.  We've made sacrifices to do it.  But while I want to spend time with my children, and be involved in as much of their lives as possible, I would never judge a mother who chose to drive a BMW and live in a huge house.  At least not to their face ;-)

Now, don't go thinking I'm a working mother hater either.  Some of the best mothers I know are working women.  They manage to be very involved in their children's lives.  And we all do what we have to do to take care of our families.  

On the opposite end of the spectrum, a Dad was standing by me while the kids were eating their cake suddenly says, " so,  you make jewelry"  Again the smile and a yes from me.  "I've seen your jewelry, I think it's really cool."  This time he gets a genuine smile.  He proceeds to ask me about the process of making.

I thought that was cool.  It made me happy.

I've always had a fear of putting myself out there.  When you make jewelry, or any art I suppose, and you put it out into the world, it is an extension of yourself.  A little piece of your heart.  It never feels good to have someone trample on your heart, or to have someone seemingly act like your heart isn't important, or worth anything.  But all it takes to get the heart floating light as air is for someone to tell you that they think it's really cool....


  1. I'm really proud of what I can do. And I am more than happy to share that with anyone. You should be too Amy! Everytime people ask me what do I do? I offer that first I am a stay at home mum and then that I make jewellery. Almost Always, people assume it's beaded jewellery. I love to see their expressions change when I tell them it's not the case! Some think it's really cool....others don't care and others act like it's something they could do in their sleep if they wanted. Embrace your talents and share it with others - who cares what they think anyways lol :)

  2. I know Em. You're absolutely right. It has taken me years not to feel inferior to my friends who were college grads. (even though it was my own choice not to pursue a degree) Being a stay at home mom is a blessing. I guess it all boils down to self confidence. I gain a little in this area every year. But am still lacking, hopefully by the time I'm 80 I'll be the most confident little old lady on the block! :-) Thanks for the encouragement girl!