Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Growing up really sucks.

I'd blissfully forgotten. Until my oldest, 8 years old, goes to bed and then calls me a half an hour later crying. She can't take another minute she says. She wants to move to a different class because there's this boy that likes her, and she can't stand him. She says he always has to be by her, stand by her in line, hang out by where she plays with her friends.

"Does he touch you?" I ask. "no" "does he say anything weird to you?" "no" " then why does he bother you so much?" "I just don't like him liking me, and he tells me all the time".

What do you say? I remember the first boy who liked me, and I didn't like him back. It's a weird feeling. I told her that I understood how she felt, but that she might have to tell him that she doesn't like him. Poor thing. It's one of those things that you have to learn to deal with, no one can really teach you the best way for you to deal with situations. It's just part of self discovery.

What do I do? What do I say? It's so weird having to go through growing up from a different perspective. As a parent you want to be helpful, and not do anything that will make your kids want to stop telling you stuff that's going on in their lives. I don't know. I'll talk to her again in the morning....


  1. aww that is so sweet. The good news is that at 8 yrs old it shouldn't last too long.

  2. You are right, totally different perspective! I'm not a parent yet, but an elementary school teacher, so find myself confronted with odd situations all of the time. My best advice is support her, but don't get involved! It's embarrassing, but totally a right of passage with more to come for her. As a young kid, if she can stand up to him and tell him what's what, then, each situation to come will grow easier for her and not seem as emotional.

  3. That's a tough one. I'd want to know if her discomfort was more about her reaction to it, or if he really is being a bit overbearing. She can and should tell him to "please stop". Children, boys and girls, need to learn how to set and how to respect boundaries. They won't learn it easily unless parents or teachers show them how.

  4. You could ask the teacher what's going on, see if it's a big deal or a little deal. When a girl was trying to kiss my son, I did step in and talk to the principal, because I knew the little girl was emotionally disturbed and possibly developmentally disabled. My son can deal with normal kids, but shouldn't have to deal with emotionally disturbed kids on his own, age his age.

  5. Thanks everyone. Turns out that his mere presence does bother her, but she was really tired that night, and had a much better outlook in the morning. It is tough. I already asked the teacher at the beginning of the year to move her away from him, since her desk was right next to his. The past couple of days her attitude about the whole thing has been more positive, so hopefully she found the best way to handle it!